All Good Things Come in Threes
by blushifted
Summary: In which 7753, Tepsekemei, and Mana are all one big family, and Tepsekemei discovers human appliances.


To say Tepsekemei was an odd addition to the household would be the understatement of the century; though it had been a long time since 7753 had lived with anyone, let alone a magical girl, she distinctly remembered _not_ having to take care of a tortoise with the brain of a five-year-old.

Trying to make conversation with her was like talking to a vending machine: she just fed out line after line, re-branded by a different TV network, said by a slightly-different-but-really-the-same main character, and she never used it in the right context. Not to say 7753 minded her idiosyncrasy; if anything, it was a bit of fresh air-pun potentially intended. 7753 couldn't fault her; she was still learning how to be human, after all. And after losing-after _meeting_ -so many new people, 7753 realized that being alone was probably the last item on her to-do list, listed just above "talking to Mana while she's angry" by a hair margin. But the real issue at hand wasn't her strangeness, nor her distinct lack of visible emotion, but her insatiable curiosity.

No amount of dangerous field work, bomb threats, crazed anachronistic escapees, and assassins could have prepared her for this moment.

"Um. Why are you in the dryer?"

"Warm. But too dry."

"Right..."

That had been the exact moment when 7753 realized leaving Mei alone was dangerous. To both herself _and_ 7753's house.

In her daze, with the dryer door open, with Tepsekemei sitting in a pile of towels, and with a dryer sheet stuck to her cheek, 7753 didn't know how to respond. Whether to laugh or to scold her. It seemed like a list of schema- _do this, do that_ -filtered through her mind but weren't exactly read or understood. Like her mind was telling her to scold Mei for sitting or the dryer, or ask why she was in there in the first place, but her mind couldn't discern what the word "dryer" even meant anymore. She was still trying to catch up to the moment, and when she couldn't figure out how to react, she settled for acceptance.

"Er... could I reach past you and get the towels out before they wrinkle?"

"Oh, ok." Tepsekemei flitted out the dryer, wobbly still from its cycle, and hovered over 7753's shoulder. It clicked then that she should explain _why_ she probably shouldn't hang around in the dryer, but... she probably already knew not to go back in there anymore, considering how dizzy she seemed. Like a little kid touching an open flame, almost. In many ways, Tepsekemei reminded her of a little kid. And in many others, she's reminded Mei's of a different species entirely.

It's a little unclear which things are new to her and which are second nature, at times. Mei said she couldn't recall anything from her reptilian life, but she still acted reptilian-like from time to time. Linguistic researchers everywhere would probably have an aneurysm if they could study her as evidence of the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis.

Unfortunately, the Land of Magic doesn't have a Linguistics Department.

As human as she seemed, she definitely still harbored some reptilian traits. Her garden, for instance. 7753 offered to cook using the ingredients she grew, and although Mei was eager to try new things, she was just as content eating her tomatoes raw as well. But she was a lot more active than your average tortoise-a _lot_ -and oftentimes 7753 had difficulty keeping her _still_.

In that sense, she was much like a five-year-old child.

Still, how did she even manage to get _into_ the dryer? Did she sneak in while 7753 was loading it? Possible, considering she could effectively make herself invisible at will.

She glanced at Tepsekemei over her shoulder, who curiously looked at her, as though to say _"What?"_ Chances were she didn't even understand what she was insinuating, though, and so 7753 turned back to sniff the towels. They smelled... okay. So they were probably fine to put away. Might as well scan them for good measure. 100% cotton. No dirt.

Silence ensued as 7753 folded the towels and put them on top of the dryer. Tepsekemei lingered behind, watching 7753 work with what _seemed_ like apathetic curiosity.

Then, after a while, Mei finally spoke. "Mei is sorry."

7753 almost hadn't heard her. "Huh? Oh, don't worry about it. It's not that big of a deal, see?" 7753 patted the stack of towels and smiled. "You can bring these to the kitchen for me, and I'll make us some coffee?"

Mei nodded eagerly as 7753 passed her the towels. She took them carefully and spent a few moment pawing at their softness before putting them in the drawers. 7753 turned on the brewer and leaned against the kitchen counter.

It seemed picturesque; domestic. Life had certainly changed from before the events in B-City, for better and for worse.

"Why do you need to fold them?" Mei asked suddenly. 7753 turned to answer her, but hissed as the coffee she poured nearly overflowed the cup. She could either pour a good portion of it skimming the rim back into the sink, or settle for extremely bitter coffee. 7753 frowned and started pouring a cup for Tepsekemei, this time with enough room for cream and sugar.

But still... how do you explain _folding_?

"Uh... so it stays nice and clean? And it saves space, I guess." 7753 shrugged.

"But why do you need to fold it? It will get dirty again."

"Well, yeah, but cleanliness is important. You need to keep tidy." 7753 garnered for a reaction as she put spoonfuls of sugar into Mei's coffee, until she nodded and passed the cup over.

Mei shrugged and took a sip, humming contently against the warmth of the cup.

Then, the door opened.

"I'm back," Mana called, trudging in with a plastic bag bouncing off her leg. "And I brought _liquor-free_ cake." She set the bag on the counter. 7753 smiled sheepishly and sipped her coffee.

"Welcome back," Mei answered, pleased. "Would Mana like dinner, a bath... or Mei?"

7753 spat out her coffee and choked; Mana almost fell over and turned red.

" _Mei!_ " they shouted in unison.

* * *

Mei enjoyed asking questions. Mei _really_ enjoyed asking questions. Questions were fun when she got answers, but she also became more confused when 7753 and Mana couldn't answer her questions. Mei just wanted to understand. At one point, they said she would make a good philosopher, but Mei also didn't know what that meant either.

Even so, Mei thought it would be fun to be a "philosopher," whatever that was.

Questions like "Why is the sky blue?" prompted 7753 to google a lot of things. She was even learning as she taught Mei the physics of the universe, and the laws of society, and why people would have a hard time believing they saw a floating genie crossing the street. Mei was beginning to understand the reasoning behind them, though, even if only slightly. They seemed like silly questions, but Mei was skilled in questioning the nature of common sense. Or so Mana said.

Mei still didn't quite get why what she had said before was so bad, but she knew not to say it again. She was slightly torn, though, because 7753 was laughing-or at least, she _thought_ she was laughing-and Mana was bright red, which meant she was either embarrassed, mad, or shy. Maybe all three at the same time. Reading emotions was difficult. Reading in _general_ was difficult.

Then, 7753 taught Mei how to use a computer.

Apparently it was supposed to teach you many things about the world, but it left Mei even more confused than before. Mei was only just starting to learn to read, and she didn't know what many words meant, so she didn't exactly know how to use it. She just kind of tapped on the "keyboard" until she recognized a few words. Things like "prize" and numbers, and she clicked on them to see what would happen.

She was actually having fun doing this. Sometimes bright lights would flash on the screen, and they were pretty to look at. Lots of colors, and cute pictures of cats, and videos Mei didn't really get but enjoyed nonetheless. With absolutely no idea what anything on the screen said, or what any of the buttons do, or any idea what _Mei_ was doing, she was still having an incredible amount of fun.

Maybe she wasn't exactly smiling or laughing, but the glint in her eyes betrayed her excitement.

She must've sat like that for hours, clicking and waiting, until eventually the computer started to slow down. Maybe it was getting tired? Tepsekemei thought to give it a short rest and went outside to check on her garden and followed a worm around the dirt for a while. When she came back inside, she expected the computer to be ready to run again, but instead it was even slower. Though her frown wasn't that much different from her usual look, Mei's brows furrowed ever so little.

Between her fretting and frustration, she hardly noticed the door had opened.

"I'm back." From the voice, it must've been 7753. Tepsekemei turned in her swivel chair, hugging the back of the chair, wearing a small frown.

"Welcome back," she said, unenthusiastic.

7753 instantly picked up on it. "What's wrong-" she began, and her expression died near as quickly as the words had left her mouth. Mei pointed at the computer, whose screen was now adorned with "Call now!" ads and pictures of half-naked women, along with the words "You've won!" and "Prize!" surrounded by bursting bubbles of exclamation marks.

"Can 7753 fix it?" Mei asked, "Mei wants to use the computer more."

7753 blanched.

* * *

Even after giving Mei a lecture on how anime is _not_ an accurate representation of real life and things like... _that..._ are completely inappropriate in a real context, Mana still wasn't sure if her heart was safe from implosion.

In the areas that Mei didn't make things easier, she made things much more difficult. But that was part of the fun of being a family, right? Mana decided that she could endure it, though the thought of that made her flush hard. She was still adjusting to this unreserved lifestyle, but had come to expect that someone-either 7753 or Mei-would be home to greet her.

So coming home to a dark and empty living room was a surprise, to say the least. Normally Mei bounced up even just after hearing her footsteps at the foyer, or asked if she could take her somewhere, or 7753 was there to ask her how her day went. But when she called out into the empty house, she heard no reply. Instead of feeling anxious about it, the more likely scenario was that the two of them had gone out somewhere together.

Free time was a luxury nowadays, so she couldn't blame them for leaving without her. But in reality, she could still totally get upset at them for leaving her behind. She huffed, kicked her shoes off, and stomped into the living room after depositing her bag by the door. Mana moved to kick her feet up.

"Mana."

Mana tripped over her own feet and caught herself on the couch. Her heart must've skipped five beats.

"Mana," the voice called again. It seemed to echo everywhere and nowhere all at once. Was it in her head?

"Help," the voice called out weakly, lacking urgency. Mana wondered if it even needed help at all.

"...God?"

"No. It's Mei."

Tepsekemei? Where? Mana began checking everywhere-the kitchen, inside the fridge, the dryer, under the couch... nothing.

"Mei's in here." Mana _wanted_ to say something akin to "Sorry to break it to you, but 'here' doesn't exactly narrow it down by much," but decided against it.

"Okay... where's 'here'?"

"Here is here. Mei is here."

Mana sighed. This was going nowhere fast.

"Alright... What does it _look_ like?"

"It's dark and tight." ...Putting aside Mei's way of phrasing that-

Mana's jaw hung. "Mei, are you... in the AC?"

"What's an AC?"

Mana felt like pulling her hair out, but there were other things to pull out first. Like magical girls out of air vents.

"Uh... okay, hang on, I think there's a ladder around here somewhere..." Her doctor's words, something along the lines of _"No heavy lifting for at least a month,"_ seemed distant and muffled in the back of her mind as she fished behind the washing machine for the ladder. Well, really, it was a _step_ ladder. She and 7753 had arguments about the exact nomenclature of it many times before, and Mana continuously insisted it was a _step_ ladder, to which 7753 argued, "Why does it even matter?"

These things are _important_. They just are! It wasn't totally because Mana had to be right. She knew when to admit defeat. This just happened to be one of those times where she was unequivocally right.

Mana, of course, did not have the strength of a magical girl; in fact, she could hardly be said to have the strength of an average human. She pulled on the step ladder and scraped it along the floor, knocking it into nearly every wall and surface possible before finally heaving it into the living room. Pausing to rest, she wondered, absentminded, if she tore a muscle.

She lifted herself and examined the vent, hacking as dust scattered everywhere. Still coughing between breaths, she asked, "Mei? Are you still in there?"

"Mei is here."

Mana sighed and stepped back down to retrieve a screwdriver to take the filter off. But it was proving to be a far more enduring endeavor than she originally anticipated.

" _Geez_ , they screw these things on tight..." Mana prodded at the vent and grunted, feeling more frustrated with each failed attempt to pull it off. "Can't you just... you know... turn into air and flow back through the vent?"

"It's too cold," Mei replied.

Mana sighed and tried again, knees struggling to keep upright on the step ladder. The longer she stood up there, the dizzier she felt herself becoming.

She felt something slide down her upper lip and brushed it with a finger. Oh. It was blood. She was having a nosebleed. Huh. Apparently overdosing on healing medicine can do that to you.

Maybe she really shouldn't have done the whole "heavy lifting" thing.

"Uh... huh." Mana nodded to herself and slowly began to climb back down, holding tightly onto the step ladder for balance. When one of her feet finally touched the floor, she fell straight down and collapsed, holding herself up by her palms.

"It's okay, Mei can do it." Before Mana could ask what "it" is, the vent popped right off like a soda tab, and Mana nearly screamed as it fell inches in front of her. It knocked into the step ladder, and both crashed to the ground. And _that_ crashed on top of the coffee table, which in turn cracked at the corners, and Mana could _feel_ that crack running all the way through her own body and down into the carpet. Mei's head peeked out the vent, and from upside down, her thin line of lips almost looked like a smile. Almost.

Just then, the door opened.

"I'm back-" 7753 began, then paused at the sight.

"...Welcome back," Mei and Mana said, one more shamefaced than the other.


End file.
